I could play the “blind card,” or I could claim a senior moment, or I could even try to make the case that I simply made a rookie mistake. The problem here is that each of these would be a lie; you can’t self-publish three books on Amazon over the course of 4 years and countless hundreds of hours… Thousands Maybe… And say anything other than you are just a dumbass, you fucked up and weren’t paying close enough attention to the details.

My latest book, Hermit Chronicles, Vol. I – certainly not flying off the Amazon shells (although that was never the goal) – was purchased by a neighbor not long after it went live. He called out to me from across the street a couple of days ago and spoke very highly of the stories in the book. He brought up a couple of essays he thought were particularly good, gushing with praise and laughter at the way I word things and my particular view of the world. I thanked him, feeling a little uncomfortable on the inside because I’m that guy who doesn’t take compliments very well, but I was gracious in my appreciation for his kind words.

After a few good laughs as I explained to him that I intentionally sprinkle in salty language here and there to make sure readers are paying attention and getting the most out of the points I’m trying to make, he told me that it was an easy read, enjoyable and entertaining (making him nod up and down or shake his head left or right and all the right places), he told me I had repeated the same essay twice in part one. I was horrified.

If anyone here has bought this book, please accept my blushing apologies for repeating essay number 9 in part 1 -“The Company We Keep.” Of course, you can brag to all your friends (if you already have it) that after I die, it might be a collectible item worth a lot of money, although I wouldn’t recommend holding your breath, I will tend to the matters of a second edition in the near future by replacing the repeat with something I’ve published since then.

As I tell my closest friends and family almost daily… It’s never a dull moment being Dave. FML


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